My parents were so happy to see me clean up! I have cut the habits of looking, feeling and smelling good! They once again gave me a place to stay and a car because they were so proud of me and the changes I had made. I was a failure because my mindset was still the same deep inside me; and I was just looking for the opportunity to do what I wanted to do again, which was get high and hang out. This is one of the stupidest reasons I was back home in Baltimore. Now that I had made some money, more than I had ever made by working, I decided to do the same things I did before, foolishly hoping for different results. This time, when I was exposed to my parents, I had to leave the house and they let me keep the car, so I would sleep in the car at night. I failed because I allowed myself to immediately go back into that pool that took everything away from me. I didn't appreciate the hard work I put in for three months to stabilize myself, which gave me some sort of leverage and a cleaner lifestyle. It occurred to me! I cut my habits for three 3 months and managed to save more money in the bank than I had worked for in the past with all my jobs! Going through the withdrawal phase wasn't what made me a failure, it was the fact that I accepted this decision that I had made knowing what had been done to me before when I chose this lifestyle that I was now returning to. I could have had my withdrawal phase in New York, seeking the help I needed; and continued to progress with no reason to return home. Now my choice was to go back into that dark well and that was one of the reasons why that decision is what led to my failure. The people I surrounded myself with depressed me… middle of paper… it was the decisions I made. It took me some time to realize that I could make changes and be successful. I was deeply affected by this negative view of myself. I didn't know that it was the failure that caused this deep, aching pain inside me, beating so much pain in my mind, in my heart, and in my life. It took some time to rebuild myself in some way; and at that moment I didn't understand that I could turn my failure into a successful future; and you could do it!. I also didn't know that I could learn from the moments I failed. Learn from every decision you make and you will continue to learn and thrive. Be passionate about your desire, but don't let your emotions control your ability to learn from whatever choices you make. When you keep an open mind to learning, failure becomes a little like motor oil. Lubricate your engine so you can run smoothly while fueled by your success.