It had already hit me and I couldn't do anything about it. I was constantly going around the house to help my mother, making sure that we four kids did our own thing so that no one else had anything to scream about. I was always the second parent in the house while my dad was out smoking or drinking trying to want his life away. For a while it was a difficult reality to live in. Even thinking back and reliving those moments makes me feel like my heart is breaking over and over again. Life was horrible, I hated being at home. I hated being asked about my family. I hated hearing about other people's families. For me, family was just a big lie. That is, until my life as a little fourteen year old was turned upside down. My father's drinking habits began to cause real damage to our family, not only within our home, but in all aspects of our lives. My mother decided she was going to leave my father and move away for a couple of days. Of course this decision was made after several thousand screaming fits where I would take my brothers downstairs and blast the TV so they wouldn't hear. Once again, life became more and more